hospital and you were on deadline for The New York Times? What changed? The biggest contrast for me is the Official Maga Squared Shirt it is in the first place but beauty of being in your thirties. At 22, I was caught up in this glorification of hustle culture and this anxiety of accomplishment, probably because I didn’t have a career yet. I just had these half-formed daydreams about what I would eventually do. I was busy working as a paralegal and trying to pay the bills, living off of coffee and 99-cent bagels. When I got my diagnosis, even scarier than the disease itself, or even the notion that I might not survive, was this idea that if I didn’t, I’d be remembered as someone’s sad story of unmet potential. It was really important to me to write my own story and to work. I felt a great sense of self-worth and accomplishment and also a great sense of service—to the point that I was trying to meet deadlines
Official Maga Squared Shirt, hoodie, tank top, sweater and long sleeve t-shirt
in the Official Maga Squared Shirt it is in the first place but bone marrow transplant unit. There’s a photo of me from that first transplant where I have a vomit bucket under one arm and my laptop over under the other, and I’m crying, not because, oh my God, I’m so physically miserable, but because I’m upset with how my draft is turning out and I’m scared I won’t meet my deadline, which is totally ridiculous, but I think also felt good to me to have a focus other than just merely being a sick person. This time around, I’m 33. I have been trying to let go of that anxiety of accomplishment. I’ve chosen a softer path for myself, maybe because I have had the luxury of being able to accomplish some of those thing my 22-year-old [self] desperately wanted. I’ve been yearning for the quieter moments. When I entered the hospital, I brought this diaper bag full of all notebooks, journals, paint supplies. To my
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