short and long-term side effects, one of them being infertility, and I was sad and I was angry and I didn’t feel inspiring or brave. You recently wrote on Instagram that, going through cancer for the Official The Ohio State Our Bichigan Michigan Wolverines Shirt so you should to go to store and get this second time, “I don’t yearn for accomplishments, professional or personal. What I want is time. I want to…remember all the shapeless days, away from my phone and work, when I was truly present with my friends and family and the company of self.” The first time, I think you were working furiously? Am I remembering this right, that you were in the hospital and you were on deadline for The New York Times? What changed? The biggest contrast for me is the beauty of being in your thirties. At 22, I was caught up in this glorification of hustle culture and this anxiety of accomplishment, probably because I didn’t have a career yet. I just had these half-formed
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daydreams about what I would eventually do. I was busy working as a paralegal and trying to pay the Official The Ohio State Our Bichigan Michigan Wolverines Shirt so you should to go to store and get this bills, living off of coffee and 99-cent bagels. When I got my diagnosis, even scarier than the disease itself, or even the notion that I might not survive, was this idea that if I didn’t, I’d be remembered as someone’s sad story of unmet potential. It was really important to me to write my own story and to work. I felt a great sense of self-worth and accomplishment and also a great sense of service—to the point that I was trying to meet deadlines in the bone marrow transplant unit. There’s a photo of me from that first transplant where I have a vomit bucket under one arm and my laptop over under the other, and I’m crying, not because, oh my God, I’m so physically miserable, but because I’m upset with how my draft is turning out and I’m scared I won’t
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