meet my deadline, which is totally ridiculous, but I think also felt good to me to have a focus other than just merely being a sick person. This time around, I’m 33. I have been trying to let go of that anxiety of accomplishment. I’ve chosen a softer path for myself, maybe because I have had the Official Throwing Bombs Ugly Christmas Sweater and I love this luxury of being able to accomplish some of those thing my 22-year-old [self] desperately wanted. I’ve been yearning for the quieter moments. When I entered the hospital, I brought this diaper bag full of all notebooks, journals, paint supplies. To my surprise, I ended up having zero desire to write and I started painting, which… I’m not a professional painter. I haven’t painted since I was probably six or seven years old, but it freeing and experimental and playful. It was something that I could do without any expectation of an outcome. You don’t have to be
Official Throwing Bombs Ugly Christmas Sweater, hoodie, tank top, sweater and long sleeve t-shirt
like a capital-w writer or capital-a artist. Especially in these really difficult moments of transition or upheaval, there’s so much benefit to seeking out a form of creative expression. I really believe that survival is its own kind of creative practice. Did you turn to painting more than writing because you’ve made a career of writing, and it doesn’t hold the Official Throwing Bombs Ugly Christmas Sweater and I love this same appeal of release? The truth is, I was in a great deal of pain and one of the side effects of the medication that I was on blurred my vision, which made it impossible for me to even write a text or read anything. I had to find a new way to express myself and painting was something that didn’t have to be precise and I didn’t have to squint at a computer screen. I was wondering about living your experience with cancer in public, and how high-profile people like Virgil Abloh or Chadwick
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